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Divorce or separation: Tips for telling your kids

On Behalf of | Jun 15, 2022 | Divorce |

Once you and your spouse, or soon-to-be ex-spouse, decide to divorce, you will need to tell your children. Texas parents should be aware of the best ways of talking to their children when divorce is imminent. Thinking it through beforehand will save emotional stress for both parents and children.

According to the experience of divorce mediators, there are some ways that you and your spouse, together, can deliver the news and let kids know that you are still there for them and will be, in the future.

Plan the talk

Sit down with your spouse and decide when and how you will tell your kids. This should be in a safe place, such as your home. Do it early in the day, so that the kids are not tired and can get their questions answered.

Togetherness

Both your spouse and you will want to be on the same page, so do it together. Gather all of the children together for this talk. Everyone should have the same message.

Practice makes perfect

You and your spouse may want to practice ahead of time. That way, you can temper your language so that it is not overly emotional.

Honesty reigns

This is not a time to be evasive. Keep in mind that you’ll want to uphold any promises made.

Don’t blame your ex, as you will still be co-parenting even after the divorce. It matters little to the kids which parent is seeking a divorce, the children need to know that they will still have parents who love them. Use language that is age-appropriate, so that they can understand what is going on; they do not need all the details of your relationship.

Assure them and then reassure them

Tell them it’s not their fault. They can ask you questions to be sure they understand; let them share their emotions. Help them to feel safe during this time.

Reassure them that there is no abandonment. You can mention how and when you will be spending time with them.

Telling children of an upcoming divorce may be a challenge. However, you and your spouse can do it together, thoughtfully and with respect for each other as well as your children.